10 Common Habits Successful People Consciously Reject

By: Ariel S. Rabaya

Successful people lead their lives on purpose with uplifting truths, empowering habits, and strong principles. Their life of success is a direct result of their conscious choices and healthy habits.

Here are 10 habits people unintentionally pick up, that successful people make it a point to consciously avoid.

1. They Don’t Define Success With Money.

Most successful people define their success with happiness, inner peace, and positive contributions – more than money. Being financially secure certainly can help open opportunities, relieve stress, and offer some piece of mind. But successful people realize that all the money in the world cannot make you happy if you are unable to feel happiness from within.

2. They Don’t Start Their Day Without a Purpose or a Plan.

Not only do successful people have crystal clear short and long-term goals, they also know exactly what they must accomplish each day to feel fulfilled as well as bring them closer to their goals. They also take full advantage of the “Golden Hour” which is the first hour after you wake up in the morning. What you do mentally, physically, and spiritually during this first hour, sets the tone for the entire day.

3. They Don’t Surround Themselves With Negative People.

There is energy in everything, and that includes human beings. As such, it’s fairly easy to absorb negative energy when you are around toxic people who are always complaining, procrastinating, and making excuses. Instead, successful people surround themselves with other positive and proactive people who inspire them to achieve great things and live full out.

4. They Don’t Make Excuses.

Successful people are proactive – they get things done. While they realize outside forces may interrupt their flow, successful people take full responsibility for the attitude they choose in situations over which they have no control. They look forward to the pleasure and benefits of accomplishing their daily tasks and life goals and they do whatever it takes to avoid the pain of falling through and giving up success.

5. They Don’t Take Their Loved Ones for Granted.

Successful people agree that work is important, but never as important as experiencing life with the people you love most. Success starts from within, so make time to give your undivided attention to those who mean most to you – including yourself!

6. They Don’t Neglect Their Health.

With good health comes the freedom and energy to fully enjoy one’s life. Successful people are aware that unless they’re mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy, they cannot perform at their very best when serving those who count on them.

7. They Don’t Live in the Past.

Successful people realize the past has already happened and that moment no longer exist. If you keep dwelling in what was, you will be unable to fully be present for what is, thus negatively affecting what’s to come. If you suffered in the past, try to recognize that you are here today, and you are OK. Your past does not define you or limit what is possible for you to achieve from this moment on. Practice your freedom and power to proactively design a better future that you so deserve.

8. They Don’t Resist Change.

Plans, strategies or tactics might change, but instead of getting upset and frustrated, successful people quickly shift paths because they know there is more than one way to reach their goal.

9. They Don’t Stop Learning.

Successful people have mentors or coaches to inspire and motivate them when challenged, and keep them accountable to their decisions and goals. They are always learning and keep themselves open to making improvements in themselves and their lives.

10. They Don’t End The Day Without Giving Thanks.

Successful people are grateful for both the big and small blessings in their lives. Reflecting on the positive things from each day before going to bed can boost your mood, motivate you to keep going, and help you unwind.

Have you ever unknowingly picked up a habit that did nothing but drain you of time, energy, and happiness? 

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15 Things When You Experience It’s Time To Let Go And Move On
By: Ariel S. Rabaya

It’s the sad reality of life that there are times when we just have to let go and move on. This is true not only in romantic partnerships, but in work situations, living conditions, professional relationships, and friendships as well. Even investments and tangible possessions can be difficult to let go despite how destructive or demanding they might have become.

Should I stay or go? Buy or sell? Stick it out or throw in the towel? Tough choices. It’s a kind of balance between perseverance and self-preservation.

What often makes the problem become worse is that while we may intellectually understand this life truth, it’s hard for us to practice. Oh, we can easily see and readily point out to others when it’s time for them to move on, but when it comes to ourselves, it’s more difficult to recognize when it’s time to say goodbye.

Here are 15 signs when you Experience It’s Time To Let Go And Move On

1. When you think about the past more than the present

You can’t live in the past. If thinking about memories of the past is more pleasant than living in the present, then either you’re glorifying the past or there is something seriously wrong with the present situation.

2. When you feel mentally and physically exhausted constantly

Life is work, and it’s truly exhausting at times, but that shouldn't be the norm. If you’re always drained, it’s a problem.

3. When you cry more than you laugh

While we are bound to feel pain, and hurt feelings occasionally, laughter and smiles should outnumber the tears.

4. When you feel anger more often than you feel love

Anger is a part of life. People make us mad sometimes, especially those we care about. And life circumstances can be very infuriating, but love should be the default, not anger.

5. When you find yourself hoping that tomorrow will be better, day after day after day

Hope sustains us; life would be nothing without hope, but if we are perpetually so miserable that we keep hoping tomorrow will be better, then we need to take a look at how we’re living today.

6. When you find yourself thinking, “Things would be better if only they would change…”

We can’t change other people. Nor can we hang our happiness on someone else’s behavior. We need to accept reality. We are responsible for our own happiness and if we can’t be happy and healthy with the way things are, then we need to move on.

7. When you have to hide who you really are to be accepted or loved

Whatever the situation, if you can’t fully express yourself and be who you truly are then it’s not sustainable.

8. When you are made to feel “less than,” or not good enough

Never let anyone make you feel inferior, not a boss, a lover, a friend, a coworker or colleague. You are just as valuable as everyone else is. You are inherently worthy and good enough just be being you.

9. When you become perpetually resentful, frustrated, or bored

Resentment and frustration may not feel like an emergency, but if those feelings are chronic, they can undermine your entire quality of life. It’s like living life with a constant weight on your back. You can’t be happy or healthy until you put that burden down.

10. When you find yourself in a situation that causes more pain than happiness

Pain is inevitable, but it shouldn't overshadow happiness. When pain is a constant companion, or when it’s inflicted on you deliberately, it’s time to let go of whatever or whomever is causing it.

11. When you realize the only thing holding you back is fear of the unknown

Uncertainty is scary and often because of that, we choose to stay in an unhappy situation because we fear what comes next, what’s behind the other door. And if we hold on tightly to what we know, because we’re afraid of what we don’t know, it’s a clear sign that we need to let go.

12. When you stop having fun

Life is not always fun and certainly nothing is fun all of the time. But we can try to find enjoyment in every way we can. If he or she or they or it no longer makes you smile, then it’s time to go.

13. When you can no longer grow as a person

Life is about growth. We are continuously changing, growing, and moving forward, learning, stretching who we are and who we can be. If you feel stunted, stifled, caged in a box of sameness then for your own sanity and well-being you need to make a change as fast as you can.

14. When you repetitively have to justify to yourself and others why you can’t let go

Justifications, making excuses, looking for reasons to rationalize why you’re clinging to something or someone that isn't working, healthy, sustainable is never good, especially if your reason is because “I've already invested so much time…or money…” That’s never a good enough justification to throw away more.

15. When you can’t be the best possible version of yourself

The right person, the right job, good friends and such should bring out the best in you…not the worst.

Are there more you’d add to the list? Share in the comments below!

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5 Steps to Coach Yourself to Success
By: Ariel S. Rabaya

Achieving success can be one of the best feelings in the world. There are tangible benefits of success such as promotions or awards, but also less obvious ones like the opportunity to grow, to stretch ourselves, and to learn. The more ambitious we are with our goals and dreams (be it running a marathon or starting our own business) the more help we need to reach them.

Professional coaches are one useful resource. They may be experts in the area of the goal we’re pursuing, like a running coach or an executive coach, or they may just be an experienced sounding board to give a different lens on our problem.

But in order to establish patterns of success and consistently achieve our goals, it’s helpful (and more convenient, and cheaper!) to adopt some self-coaching behaviors. (No, this doesn't have to involve talking to ourselves – but it can.)

I believe it’s possible to get 80% there with 20% of the effort. To start: develop a success habit by asking yourself these questions at least once a month (or better yet, every week). Carve out an hour to sit, reflect, and write. You’ll not only achieve your goals for success faster than ever before, you’ll grow and learn while you’re doing it.

They key questions to ask yourself are…

1. What do I want to achieve?

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt

This is the foundation of everything that follows. Numerous studies find that people who set goals are most successful in the long term. The brilliant thing is that you don’t have to work out all the steps to get there – at least not yet. Just identify what it is you’d like to do, and intend to do it. For instance: I want to become a successful entrepreneur. (Bonus points if you put a date to it – eg ‘by December 31, 2017′ or ‘by end of day Tuesday’).

If you’re new to setting goals, come up with three then pick the one that feels most meaningful for you right now. Focus on this for the rest of the exercise.

See? That was easy.

Next…

2. What does success look and feel like? How will I know when I’m there?

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” - Robert Collier

This is where the magic starts – this is part of the ‘secret sauce’, the stuff we so often skip over because we underestimate how powerful it is.

Close your eyes and visualize what ‘success’ really looks like. For instance, being a successful entrepreneur means different things to different people. How will you know you've reached YOUR version of this goal? It could be that you will have achieved success when you have earn 1,000,000 Php in your business. Whatever success means, paint a detailed picture in your mind, then write down the key elements. Otherwise you won’t know when you've achieved it, and you won’t be able to assess as easily if things have gone off the rails.

Now that you know where you want to go and what it will look and feel like to be there, put your brain to work immediately to determine…

3. What is the first step towards this success?

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” - Conrad Hilton

Ask yourself: what’s the next step I need to take to make this happen? By when will I commit to doing this?

You may be thinking, “I don’t know how to become successful entrepreneur!” The great thing is that you don’t need to know the entire path to your goal – just one step at a time. If you can map out the entire journey, great. But if not, ask “what is one action item I can take that would bring me closer to this goal?” Once you've got an idea of the next steps, get moving. Do yourself a favor and follow through on this commitment to yourself, the way you would follow through on a commitment to someone else.

But what if I can’t figure out the next step? That’s OK. There are some great hacks for overcoming resistance. Try…

Talking with someone who’s already achieved the goal you set. Ask them what might be a next step.

Closing your eyes and picturing a future you who’s already achieved this goal. Ask this version of you ‘what would be my next step?’

Once you know it, your next step will be, decide…

4. What barriers will I have to overcome to accomplish this step with success?

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” - Booker T. Washington

This is the ‘troubleshooting’ step. Undoubtedly something (or many somethings!) will come up that will get in the way of your goal. Some may not be foreseeable, but most will be. By anticipating these roadblocks upfront you can ensure you stay on track and train your brain to anticipate and problem solve. Working out these muscles will pay dividends in every aspect of your life.

Bulletproof your timelines and action plans to ensure you can leap over most hurdles that stand between you and success.

Once you've completed your step, ask yourself…

5. What can I learn from this experience?

“I've failed over and over again in my life – and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

High achievers across sports, business, entertainment, and government share this one behavior: they will reflect thoughtfully and detachedly on their performance and outcomes. Once you've achieved your step/goal, reflect and see what can be learned from your work. Some sub-questions could be:

Did you get to the outcome you envisioned?

Were there challenges you didn't expect?

What factors helped you?

Would you do anything differently if you had a ‘do over’?

Research has shown that our brains don’t actually need to ‘do’ something in order to learn – rehearsing behavior patterns, or reflecting can be as powerful as if we’d actually had more practice, or been given the real-life opportunity for a do over.

By reflecting deliberately and learning from every situation, your can accelerate your personal and professional growth. The key for getting the most out of this is staying objective. To learn the most you need to examine from every angle with a scientist’s lens. Getting hung up on emotions or baggage will hinder your learning.

Finally, recognize that setbacks happen all the time. They’re part of life and the learning process. But the most successful people are able to ‘fail forward’, or fail in such a way that they gain valuable insight that will make them more successful next time. Being your own coach means cheering yourself on, holding yourself accountable, and sometimes, dusting yourself off! But by using this process you can set yourself up for a virtuous cycle of successes and train your brain to achieve – so that success truly does become the norm.

Are there more you’d add to the list? Share in the comments below!
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7 Empowering Beliefs That Lead You To Success
By: Ariel S. Rabaya

 “Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that dis-empowers them or one that can literally save their lives”  - Anthony Robbins

Anthony Robbins in his quote  describes the power and influence that beliefs have on our lives. Our beliefs control how we live our lives and if we choose to live our lives acting on our self limiting beliefs then we are accepting a life that is going nowhere and the future is grim. We all desire a life that is flourishing, full of happiness, love and joy, no one wants a miserable life where we languish in mediocrity.  People who lead successful and joyful lives have achieved this by choosing beliefs that support and empower them on their life journey.

So what are Beliefs?

Beliefs are the thoughts in our head that influence our behavior, attitude and actions. The beliefs that affect our lives are either Empowering Beliefs which enable us to lead flourishing lives or Self Limiting Beliefs that stop us from achieving our goals and live a life where we suffer and struggle.

The Power of Choice is a wonderful gift that we all have and it is this gift that enables us to make choices about what we want to believe and what we don’t want to believe. Those who lead successful lives have chosen to believe in the thoughts that empower them and of course those who live in mediocrity have chosen to believe in the thoughts that disempower them. Beliefs are only thoughts and they are not real so with the power of choice we can change our thoughts anytime we want. The first step to changing how we think and feel is, to decide what the consequences are, if choose to act on our beliefs.  

Don’t worry about if your beliefs are right or wrong just determine what the results will be if you act on them. This does take some practice but how long it takes depends on you! You just need to decide what Empowering Beliefs you need that will support you toward a life of success.

“You are the person who has to decide. Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you’ll lead or will linger behind. Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are”  - Edgar A. Guest

To help you figure out what the beliefs will be that empower you toward success here are 7 Empowering Beliefs that Successful People believe to be true for them.

1. I am not afraid, only excited for what is ahead.

“It is this belief in a power larger than myself and other than myself

which allows me to venture into the unknown and even the unknowable”. - Maya Angelou

2. I am 100% responsible of my life.

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.

The process never ends until we die.

And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility” - Eleanor Roosevelt

3. I embrace challenges because I will always find a way to overcome.

“You may encounter many defeats,

but you must not be defeated.

        In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats,

so you can know who you are,

what you can rise from,

how you can still come out of it.” - Maya Angelou

4. My vulnerability gives me strength and fuels my belief in me.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy,accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” - Brené Brown

5. The past was who I was, the present is who I am and the future is who I may become.

“You can’t stop the future

You can’t rewind the past

The only way to learn the secret

…is to press play.” - Jay Asher

6. The words I use to express who I am, are aligned to my beliefs and values and actions.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, 

Your thoughts become your words, 

Your words become your actions, 

Your actions become your habits, 

Your habits become your values, 

Your values become your destiny.” 

- Mahatma Gandhi

7. I always dream big and I strive for that which is out of my reach – the impossible is worth striving for.

“One can’t believe impossible things. I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. ”When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” - Lewis Carroll

My Challenge to You: For the next 10 days choose one Empowering Belief to say 3 times a day. A good thing to do is to say the Empowering Belief while you look at yourself in the mirror. Each day try to behave and act in a way that supports the Empowering Belief you have chosen. Then wait, you will start to feel different and you will begin to transform. Once you want to commit to believing the impossible, daring to be different and living your life as an empowered individual you will have no option but to experience a life full of success and fulfillment. Why would you not do it?

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.” - Anthony Robbins

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